Business Buzzword Nerd Pillows

"This project is evolving well, going forward."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

Intellectual Property

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

Man sees misspelled 'Minimum Competency Testing' sign on door.

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

Man kicking Exclamation Mark.

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

Sharp Eyes

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

"Ok clss pls trn ur pprs ovr n strt :)"

'I'm important to note we really are trying hard.'

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but you'll have to put your dust jacket back on."

The Vertically Challenged Oxford Dictionary.

The Fascinating Language of Ambivalence, Decoded.

"We’re leveraging knowledge of niche opportunities to maximize strategic advantages."

"I sell them for Website names."

'It's good, but it's not good-to-go.'

"You're all redundant."