Corporate Buzzword Enthusiast Pillows

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

"Effective communications with clients is essential so we've come up with some mandatory training to practise drilling down to identify core interpersonal information...."

"I bring you ten faith-based initiatives

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

Final words on gravestones.

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

"Rumour has it that you're after my job."

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

"I kicked the idea of mowing the lawn into the long grass."

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

"Can you smell that, Jacobs? That’s the smell of me about to offer you a retirement package."

'I have no idea what a Wiki is but I want one on my desk next week, now move it, people!'

"Kicking you upstairs is, of course, just a figure of speech. What we're really doing is sending you deeper into the countryside."

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"

'I'll give you this, Hargrove - Your report was a perfect blend of cliches, banalities and platitudes.'

Terms and conditions on the mount

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

'Drive 'em wild with the sweet scent of net profits exceeding forecasts due to higher gross margins and cost-cutting.'

"Enhanced branding metrics drive robust solutions for scalable monetization of jargon."