Business Buzzword Enthusiast Pillows

"Effective and CLEAR communication with customers is ESSENTIAL so we're going to practise drilling down to identify core interpersonal information transfer methodologies to accelerate a meaningful dialogue."

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

Business Cliches

I got struck out when management got tired of my sports metaphors.

"Before we continue, please explain the following acronyms: SEO, SEM, PPC, CRM and LOL."

Merger or Acquisition?

"Lately our focus has been trending away from people who want to borrow our money."

"It's not enough I have to think outside the box. Now I have to think outside the bubble!"

"Well, Baldo...I'm not gonna waste your time. Times are tough and sales are down. If my store is gonna survive, I have to right-size payroll expenses."

"Did I say 'Yada Yada Yada?' My mistake! This is the 'Badda-Bing, Badda-Boom' portion of my presentation!"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Repeat after me: We are delivering the proactive core value promises and rolling out our real time best practice action plan going forward ..."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

Final words on gravestones.

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

"Come to my office. I need to cascade with you offline."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"O.K. What part of 'malignant regression and pathogenic reintrojection as a defense against psychic decompensation' don't you understand?"

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

"You're all redundant."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

GDP and G&T.

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...