Health-conscious Coworker Gifts

'Now look what you've done!! You've aggravated my CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME!!'

'I warned you about eating at your desk. The Board of Health impounded your keyboard.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

Office Ergonomics.

Flash Cuisine

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

Healthy and happy workers are productive workers!

"They got rid of 'work from home,' so I pushed for 'blanket forts from office.'"

Middle Manager

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

The smoking Gun

Jack felt much better, now that he was working out.

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

"Larry, can you take over the meeting for a minute? My doctor is insisting I take a few deep breaths."

"You're not allowed to enter the city. Your exhaust emissions are much too high!"

How did I go from the 3 martini power lunch to the low-carb 3 grain power bar?

'All right, who's been sitting on the copier again?'

Health and safety nightmare.

Your performance evaulations and sales figures are exceptional, but the company's a little bit concerned by your cholesterol numbers.

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

"We don't have a gym, Collins. The best I can do is let you do jumping jacks in the supply closet."

WARNING: Smoking turns you into a donkey.

Diet Smell...

"If you look after your body, it will last you a lifetime."

'Test results indicate you broke your New Year's resolution.'