Health-conscious Procrastinator Gifts

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

Gym. I don't need to exercise --- I have an ab crunch on my smart phone!

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"I was all set to go to the gym, but you'd be amazed how much, yoga class and pour-a-glass, sound alike."

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

'Busy Dear ?' 'Just watching my exercise video.'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

'I warned you about eating at your desk. The Board of Health impounded your keyboard.'

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"The doctor wants me to exercise more, so I need you to lift my feet even more when you're not vacuuming."

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"The doctor told him to exercise more, so he jogs to the pub."

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

No, dear, I couldn't workout today, but I did do some strenuous selling and rigorous reinvestment!

'It's not that he eats between meals -- it's that his meals overlap.'

Yeahhhh, I've goofed-off at the fax machine, laser printer, copier, but I'm a traditionist. Nothing beats the watercooler!

"Well, my fitness band told my doctor how lazy I've been since my last visit. How do I turn on privacy on this thing?!!!"

"Doing chores is very stimulating. I'm always thinking of ways to avoid them."

"Finally, something I know I'll finish."

'I could have become a pro golfer, but I didn't want to work weekends.'

"Four out of five doctors recommend that you get up and get some exercise."

"I haven't lost any weight, so instead of watching just one, I'm going to watch two exercise videos a day."