Head Massage Enthusiast Gifts

'...I love how you run your fingers through my hair...' ( a guys fingers actually running like legs do).

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

'I also offer massage therapy.'

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

Couples Massage

"Shoulder work ahead"

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Dog to other: 'I think I'm becoming quite addicted to pats on the head.'

"That feels good...now scratch a little to the left."

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

Perhaps a ceasefire is in order. Terms? I will agree not to pummel you for forgetting our anniversary. You will refrain from pursuing the possibility that I, too, have forgotten it. You will, furthermore, massage my feet in penance for denying me a reason to yell at you. Non-negotiable! Got off easy.

Toe-Tickling Machine

'You're very tense today.'

Chair massages.

To compensate for the stress of news broadcasts, Tina's TV came with a built-in massage system.

"You're holding a lot of homophobia in your lower back."

"Greg will be giving your massage today."

I fired my masseuse today. She rubbed me me up the wrong way.

'I'll be right back after these massages.'

'Only way I could get him to come was to tell him it was massage therapy.'

'If I was any more relaxed, I could host a NPR program.'

"I'm glad you're enjoying the massage feature on your new chair, but can you lower the setting a bit?"

"Let me know if the incessant complaining about my boyfriend is too much."

"Don't panic, you're safe: he's my next appointment..."

"So the SM is for swedish massage?"

"Higher...to the right. Ahhh...that's nice!"

'Sure, it's an improvement. But I guess we'll need to get to the airport a lot earlier from now on...'

"So, is this your very first visit to a massage therapist?"

"I'm afraid the niceties of our underwater massage must remain a trade secret."

Free neck massages.