Hauling Humorist Gifts

Shakespeare in the Industrial Park

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

No Soliciting

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"That's the preacher's dog."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Inflatable Duck Boat

Yard Sale

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'I'm not going to remind you again, Harold. Now, go get the garbage and bring it in here.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Carpet Cows

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

'Can I see your license,please?'

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!