Hauling Humorist Pillows

Shakespeare in the Industrial Park

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

No Soliciting

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Inflatable Duck Boat

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

Yard Sale

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"That's the preacher's dog."

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

'Can I see your license,please?'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Carpet Cows

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'