Herding Humorist Pillows

"I disagree with a lot of the way he herds."

No Soliciting

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

A sure sign of rain

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

Moo! OOM!

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

"Is there a problem officer?"

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

The Enemy

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

Show Jumping Tantrums

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

'Steven! Those nuts are for guests! Stop hiding them!'

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

A Few Common Ailments

The Cud Food Guide

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'Plastic bags, dogs, dogs behind gates, strange smells, pigs, strange noises...heck! It would be quicker to tell you what doesn't spook me!'

Horse accidents

'Did you just curdle?'

"She's changed so much since the sonogram."

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

'He always gets that way when I ask him about our retirement plan,'

"Damn, she's good."

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV