Huddle Humorist Gifts

"Another meeting?"

'We need to slow down and take our time getting into our hurry up offense.'

No Soliciting

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

Bed Fellow

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

'Gravity wins - again.'

'As you wish Santa. But if we allow them to share our bed only once, be prepared to put up with them every night!'

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

'I can't even watch football on TV. When they go into a huddle I'm sure they're talking about me.'

'Steven! Those nuts are for guests! Stop hiding them!'

"Of course I want to have kids, Claire - just not all the time."

Jesus Seals the Hick...

Oh yeah, that's right. Now everyone wants to know the radiator cow.

Shakespeare in the Industrial Park

'My member requires some interest.'

'Of course you can stay the night-what d'you fancy-on top or underneath?'

"We do have a wonderful art collection, but it has taken over somewhat: We either need to have a bower or get professional help..."

Chicane

"And coach says to hurry it up because we're delaying '60 Minutes.'"

"We only need to slaughter one more - grab that one."

Home Video

Of course it's filled with my old skins, it's my shed.

"Absolutely perfect! How did you know?"

Car driving comes upon fork in road.

"Oh, it's not food, it's my money: I don't trust banks..."

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'