Hedge Humorists Gifts

They let him live rent-free in their hedge

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

"Hallelujah!"

A Not So Grand Slam.

'Steven! Those nuts are for guests! Stop hiding them!'

"I've got reservations for this evening."

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

"Was that me or did the oven buzzer go off?"

'Must be Pandora's.'

'We need to slow down and take our time getting into our hurry up offense.'

Oh yeah, that's right. Now everyone wants to know the radiator cow.

"Can I interest you in a ledge fund?"

"There's a worry that if we impose rules on hedge funds they may leave the UK..."

Cotton candy

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

"We only need to slaughter one more - grab that one."

"But I can't help it if I smell 'Fishy'!"

'Will you watch out! You're swarming in my way!'

"We do have a wonderful art collection, but it has taken over somewhat: We either need to have a bower or get professional help..."

"The kids of today catch on so quickly, Ted! Remember how long it took US to master the finer points of crony capitalism?"

Of course it's filled with my old skins, it's my shed.

Home Video

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

"Well done!"

Adventures in Flossing

"After this, we'll set down some traps. That should deal with the rest of them."

'I like my worms barbecued.'