Hedge Humorists Gifts

They let him live rent-free in their hedge

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

"Hallelujah!"

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

A Not So Grand Slam.

"I've got reservations for this evening."

'Steven! Those nuts are for guests! Stop hiding them!'

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

'Must be Pandora's.'

"Can I interest you in a ledge fund?"

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

'We need to slow down and take our time getting into our hurry up offense.'

Oh yeah, that's right. Now everyone wants to know the radiator cow.

"There's a worry that if we impose rules on hedge funds they may leave the UK..."

Cotton candy

Freak Accident Specialist

"Was that me or did the oven buzzer go off?"

'So, Bill! What do you think my chances are of moving into supervisory position?'

Home Video

"But I can't help it if I smell 'Fishy'!"

'Will you watch out! You're swarming in my way!'

"All I know is, I named my pet porcupine Bill Ackman, and he immediately lost a hundred points."

"We do have a wonderful art collection, but it has taken over somewhat: We either need to have a bower or get professional help..."

Of course it's filled with my old skins, it's my shed.

"We only need to slaughter one more - grab that one."

"The kids of today catch on so quickly, Ted! Remember how long it took US to master the finer points of crony capitalism?"

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

"Well done!"

Adventures in Flossing

"After this, we'll set down some traps. That should deal with the rest of them."