Harbour Police T-Shirts

You're stopping me for sailing & drinking? No sweat. I can swim in a strait line!

Police Feline Unit

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'Slip Ahoy!'

'Come out with your fins up!'

"Say 'eh.'"

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

Computer neck.

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

Penguin identity parade

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

Speed Limit Enforced from Aircraft.

"So how exactly am I supposed to give a self-driving car a ticket?"

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

"60 may be the new 50 in the fantasy land you live in, but here in the real world, it's called exceeding the speed limit."

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

"It's a driverless car! I'm humoring the dog!"

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

It's amazing how people slow down when you point a hair dryer at them.

Yesterday you lost your sheep and suddenly, today, Mary next door has a little lamb... Pretty big coincidence is all I'm sayin'.

'Hold it, Charlie - I think he's ready to cooperate now.'

Do not take fish by unathourized means.

"Yeah, well, you sure don't drive like a slow loris."

London Welcomes Carfull Drivers

'Careful. Those nachos might be loaded.'

"Honey, did you have to bring the whole squad to our elopement?"

"I believe you to be over our new drink-drive limits, and require you to blow into this..!"

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

"Sign here that you acknowledge the risks."

Math Equation Speed Limit

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'