Happy Designated Drivers Pillows

'I'm drinking, you're driving - how come you're so happy?'

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Boozing and Cruising

Say speed

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

"I think you better let me drive, I haven't renewed your license yet."

No Car Bar.

"Now remember, after this anointing you need to return every 3 months or 3000 miles."

'Now that Sir has approved the wine, would Madam care to taste the water?'

Gas bar, Full service/Self-serving tightwads

Driving home for Christmas.

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

Nerds night out: 'Dibs on Designated Driver.'

"Customers without designated drivers must be wearing clean underwear."

"No designated driver for me. My last one committed road rage!"

"I don't believe I care for anything, thank, you. I'm just in their car pool."

Goose Bus Driving South

"There's no charge—the grinding sound you hear when you're driving is coming from your wife's teeth."

Drink kills.

"Just water for me I'm the designated driver."

Vicar with cross-shaped car aerial.

Let Go and Let God

'No thanks. I don't drink when I'm driving home a point.'

Designated Drivers Area

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

"Say, aren't we a bit too old to drive a car?"

Drinker at bar: 'No more for me, thanks. Any more and I slur the words I'm texting in the car...'

Speed Limit 20 MPH. Enforced by Potholes.

'Oh! You've passed the breathalyzer test.' 'I KNEW IT! that pub's watering down its whisky!'

'Your mom as our designated driver, man, is sure putting a damper on our fun!'

'I'm afraid, Vicar, that you have 'left undone those things which you should have done'!'

'Why am I always the designated driver?'

"Before I have anymore, who's driving tonight, me or you"

"If I'd known they had so little to drink I'd have brought the car."