Happy Designated Drivers Gifts

'I'm drinking, you're driving - how come you're so happy?'

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Say speed

Someday

Boozing and Cruising

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

"I think you better let me drive, I haven't renewed your license yet."

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

No Car Bar.

"Now remember, after this anointing you need to return every 3 months or 3000 miles."

'Now that Sir has approved the wine, would Madam care to taste the water?'

Gas bar, Full service/Self-serving tightwads

Driving home for Christmas.

Nerds night out: 'Dibs on Designated Driver.'

'Pub drinking games with bottled water may be sensible, but they're bloody boring.'

"Customers without designated drivers must be wearing clean underwear."

"I don't believe I care for anything, thank, you. I'm just in their car pool."

Drink kills.

"There's no charge—the grinding sound you hear when you're driving is coming from your wife's teeth."

Goose Bus Driving South

"No designated driver for me. My last one committed road rage!"

"Just water for me I'm the designated driver."

Designated Drivers Area

"Say, aren't we a bit too old to drive a car?"

Drinker at bar: 'No more for me, thanks. Any more and I slur the words I'm texting in the car...'

'No thanks. I don't drink when I'm driving home a point.'

Let Go and Let God

Vicar with cross-shaped car aerial.

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

Speed Limit 20 MPH. Enforced by Potholes.

'Oh! You've passed the breathalyzer test.' 'I KNEW IT! that pub's watering down its whisky!'

'Your mom as our designated driver, man, is sure putting a damper on our fun!'

'I'm afraid, Vicar, that you have 'left undone those things which you should have done'!'

'Why am I always the designated driver?'

"Before I have anymore, who's driving tonight, me or you"