Hangover Veteran Pillows

You have a hangover!

You realize you had ten pints last night? That's the last time I drink rum during the week!

'...oh...remind me never to go drinking with Neptune King of the Ocean ever again...'

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

"Oh, God! I had EXACTLY the right amount to drink last night."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

'Take two asprin and stick your head in the the sand.'

"Happy anniversary, Clare. How'd you make it so many years?" "Figured it wasn't worth the prison time."

'How long have you two been married?'

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

Cats in a bar asking for 'hair of the dog'.

"I don't get it. I only had a couple of beers in the pub last night, but I've got a splitting headache this morning."

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

'Don't complain now: You were quite happy eating fermented fruit with your friends last night!'

'What did you learn at university today?'

"Dude, last night was nuts."

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."

"Uggh! Who am I?" 'Rory Bremner wakes up with a hangover'

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

"I figured, better the devil you know."

Roller skater see a sign: Nightmareville Pop. 5679 Beware Of Government Red Tape

Chillaxing!

"Yes ... concierge? Where am I?"

"No, you can't see Mr. Smith without an appointment! But I can make you an appointment to make an appointment!"

"These are the forms you need to fill out to show that our primary focus is client care."

"Recently separated."

'I'm used to having my decisions overturned since I've been married 20 years.'