Hangover Heroes Pillows

"Ugh, I'm too hungover for salvation-come back later."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

Your Guide to Winning Movember

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"Hey! Hey! I could gopher another lemon drop over here, please and thank you."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

"It's a full moon somewhere."

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

Join me in a Caiprinha!

"Oh, God! I had EXACTLY the right amount to drink last night."

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

The Politics of Food.

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

Pints of Lager

'Get the theatre ready we got another one from the cocktail bar.'