Hangover Hero Pillows

"Uggh! Who am I?" 'Rory Bremner wakes up with a hangover'

'Monday morning is the new Friday night.'

"He'd been drunk,he'd been walking past the zoo...there had been something else, but damn he couldn't remember."

"He's at that funny age. It takes twice as long to get over a good time, as to have it."

'Before drinking, I always coat my stomach with butter.'

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

'Well - how'd the party go, after I left last night?'

'What's your best seller?'

'zzz... nyarrrgh... fwa... ...ack... k... na...graa...' - '' - 'I just had the worst dream...' - '' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - ''

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

Nursing a Hangover

"You look like I need a drink."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

Your Guide to Winning Movember

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"Hey! Hey! I could gopher another lemon drop over here, please and thank you."

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

"It's a full moon somewhere."