Hangover Hero Pillows

"Uggh! Who am I?" 'Rory Bremner wakes up with a hangover'

'Monday morning is the new Friday night.'

"He'd been drunk,he'd been walking past the zoo...there had been something else, but damn he couldn't remember."

'Before drinking, I always coat my stomach with butter.'

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

'Well - how'd the party go, after I left last night?'

'What's your best seller?'

'zzz... nyarrrgh... fwa... ...ack... k... na...graa...' - '' - 'I just had the worst dream...' - '' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - ''

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

Nursing a Hangover

"You look like I need a drink."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

Best Before 5th Pint.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

Your Guide to Winning Movember

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

"Hey! Hey! I could gopher another lemon drop over here, please and thank you."

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

Join me in a Caiprinha!

The Politics of Food.

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"