Hammer Hustler Gifts

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of contracting are the hardest.'

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

D.I.Y with dad.

Like father like son.

Runner going through hurdles.

Interning in D.C. Volunteering in Seattle. Trekking in Nepal. Lucky ducks! I'm stuck here working 2 jobs! Wow! You're getting paid?!! Who knew? Employment is this summer's must-have status symbol. Some parents envy you.

'I really don't care about your work/life balance.'

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

If they don't want to hit it with a hammer like that, why do they call it a "fingernail"?

Woodwork

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

Gracie's Halloween Candy Exchange.

'You need to take one capsule a day as supplement. .. After you reach a certain income level, your body stops producing this stuff.'

Can't carry a tune. Please help.

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

This Dynamic high-powered team of does and decision makers reaches and screeches to a halt in front of its most difficult obstacle of the year.

'Can you turn the game on? I need to know when halftime is over, so I can get back to play.'

'I think we should look into a smaller hammer and bigger nails for your next do-it-yourself project'

Man motivated by money, rabbit motivated by carrot.

'Don't make excuses, Moore! If you can't guard that guy, I'll put someone in who can!'

"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."

'Mirror, mirror on the wall...who is the jammiest of them all?'

'Hard Day?'

"Remodeling? No. Just looking for the remote."

After hours of tinkering, Jeff finally makes his computer go faster.

How I learned to stop worrying and start hammering

"I guess I shouldn't complain. At least he has steady work."

"How is the dog training coming, dear? Oh, never mind!"

"At this stage of your life, you need a hobby - one that will produce income."

Golfers with bumper sticker 'How do you like my DRIVING?'

'I also do taxes.'