Hallway Caretaker Gifts

'Listen kid, I'm sorry to hear that you're banned from class, but if you're going to hang out with me all day, you're gonna have make yourself more useful.'

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"But I wasn't running in the hall."

Egg Buggy

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

Cleaning Lockers.

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

"I'm sending you to someone who's less squeamish."

"This is my favorite photo of our autumn leaves."

"The custodian's job is 10 percent janitorial and 90 percent as my bodyguard."

Teacher's Lounge

I.R.S. - Donate your tax refund to 'adopt a city'.

'I don't need to go to a gym. One of my classroom management strategies is to circulate frequently around the room. I figure I walk three miles a day.'

"He's in charge of mowing... I mainly fertilize."

'In this district, Constable, you can't be too careful!'

"Is it Humid in here or is it just me?"

"Just clean out the gutters, Tony, and point the chimney."

Principal to teacher: 'You've got to get a handle on the screaming and running down the hall. I don't care how afraid you are of your students.'

Already worried about his wife's cleaning binges, Bob finds her snorting Ajax.

"Have you noticed dogs don't try to cover their business anymore, after they do it?"

"You shouldn't be in the hall, Sam. You aren't free range 'til three fifteen."

"Sorry, this is the Department of Wrong Places. You want the Bureau of Missed Appointments way-y-y-y-y-y-y down the hall."

'That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine.'

Day 16 of self-isolation, and everything had been cleaned to within an inch of its life.

'Will you please just lower the drawbridge and cool it with the knock-knock jokes?'

St Peter shaving the heads of angels

Adopt an off ramp.