Halftime Strategist Gifts

'See you at halftime.'

'Apart from the vuvuzela incident did you enjoy England's World Cup games?'

"We'll swop at half time."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

'Let's go over our secret play.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"Stag poker"

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

Snail Coach

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"We'll see who wins on Sunday, and more importantly, if we'll hear 'Not Like Us' at halftime."

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with sports.'

'I wandered lonely as Wayne Rooney playing up front for England.'

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

'Governor game change and his replacement debate moderators...'

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

'Ring around the rosey ...'

"You'll come? Great." "The Hendersons will be too." "We'll kill them at poker." "Phil and Edna, planning a murder for later that night."

Basketball Players Working Together

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

Stats. Fantasy League. The difference between men and boys is men draft their imaginary friends onto fantasy sports teams.

'After all these years of purposely losing to the boss, I beat the pulp out of him and turned in my resignation.'

The baseball players psychiatrist.

'Can't it wait until halftime?'

"So hardly working....or hardly working?"

'The boss says to 'strike him out'!'