Half-life Jokers Gifts

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Photobooth Photobomb

Giggle.

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

The nutritional devils and angels on your shoulder.

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

A "half-life" is the time it takes for a quantity of a radioactive material to be cut in half by decay. In each successive half-life period, the quantity is halved again. Half-life length varies widely form element to element. Eating healthier is a common new year's resolution. Our data shows breaking this resolution follows a curve like those seen with nuclear decay. As of yesterday about ten percent of those who made the resolution this year are still sticking to it. We calculated the re

"We're having a problem naming him. All the domain names we like are already taken!"

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

Whale Pattern Balding

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

Born Cynical,,,,

Old basketball players never die. . . they just pick and roll.

"But is it Organic?"

Fairy Tales in Pandemic Time

Pinata Pranks

birthday meets reality

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

'Well, so much for Hennessey. ... But from now on, don't make anyone dribble too close to the piranha tank.'

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

'I can tell when it's getting close to New Year's.. my liver starts to quiver.'

'Great, more trans-fats and cholesterol!'

Fall, in summary...

'It was a gift from AARP.'

'I'm going to fire my life coach - he has a losing record.'

"I hate my gym."

Lightning Bug Bullies

"You forgot again? How hard is it to pick up dryer sheets?"

'O.K...O.K...I won't mention retirement again!'

Number 6 did it.

''Earn our bread by the sweat of our brow'? -- is that sanitary?'

'Will your stocks recover soon? How refreshing, sir - you still have a sense of humour.'