Afterlife Jokers Gifts

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"You run into a window, too?"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Special Place in Hell...

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

"Hey you!. . . Get off of my cloud!"

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

'Apparently my ex's idea of heaven was to punch me in the eye.'

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

"Don't you hate that? Now I think of the perfect last words!"

"Murchison is still in denial."

'Well yes. I guess it makes you look taller.'

"Soul patch. What do you think?"

'I led a long and happy life. Twenty business cycles.'

'Yeah, I tried that once.'

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

"Come on, Tom ... get an afterlife, will you?"

'Can I be someone else's Guardian Angel? The guy's a bleeder.'

'Sorry. No football supporters.'

Man at Heavens gate being asked '...and what about the LBW decision on August 19th 1973...?'

'You must be new here. Most of us just hang around in our bathrobes'

"Harry got a recall notice."

'You'll need a username and password to enter...'

"Well, well, well... We meet again at last!"