Afterlife Jokester Gifts

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"You run into a window, too?"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

Special Place in Hell...

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

'Existential truckstop'

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

"Johnson's selling ad space in the tunnel of light."

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

"Let's work on opening up that fourth chakra."

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

'Someday, you'll be a big star!'

"Wisdom is growing your hair long so the hairs growing in your ears don't show

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

I'm afraid of heights.

'Sorry -- that's not on our list of approved churches.'

"Hey you!. . . Get off of my cloud!"

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

"Murchison is still in denial."

I wasn't having an out-of-body experience. I was social distancing from myself.

"Soul patch. What do you think?"

"Don't you hate that? Now I think of the perfect last words!"