Afterlife Jokester Pillows

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"You run into a window, too?"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

'He always said he wouldn't be seen dead with his shirt outside his trousers - he'll be livid.'

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

Special Place in Hell...

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'Existential truckstop'

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

"Johnson's selling ad space in the tunnel of light."

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

"Let's work on opening up that fourth chakra."

'Did you or did you not make my client laugh so hard that milk came out his nose, causing the kids at his cafeteria table to laugh at him?'

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

"Wisdom is growing your hair long so the hairs growing in your ears don't show

'Someday, you'll be a big star!'

'Sorry -- that's not on our list of approved churches.'

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"Hey you!. . . Get off of my cloud!"

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

"Don't you hate that? Now I think of the perfect last words!"

"Soul patch. What do you think?"

"Murchison is still in denial."