Afterlife Comedian Pillows

'I led a long and happy life. Twenty business cycles.'

"If this is a sentimental tribute, I'm gonna vomit."

"Don't you hate that? Now I think of the perfect last words!"

Don't worry, you're fine - I'm just having with a latch. A-1 Gate Repair.

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

"Harry got a recall notice."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"You run into a window, too?"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

"I still maintain an online presence."

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Special Place in Hell...

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

"Johnson's selling ad space in the tunnel of light."

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"Hey you!. . . Get off of my cloud!"

I'm afraid of heights.

Bob landed in Hell. And to make matters worse, they lost his luggage.

An anarchist angel wearing his halo as a hoop earring,

'Apparently my ex's idea of heaven was to punch me in the eye.'

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

"Soul patch. What do you think?"

'I didn't know Heaven had another entrance?'

"Murchison is still in denial."

'Well yes. I guess it makes you look taller.'

Grave with satellite dish.

'Frankly, your credit score concerns me.'

'That was Larry...always trying to improve himself.'

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

'Yeah, I tried that once.'