Afterlife Comedians Pillows

'Well yes. I guess it makes you look taller.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"You run into a window, too?"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

"I still maintain an online presence."

"I'll have whatever they're having."

Special Place in Hell...

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

"Johnson's selling ad space in the tunnel of light."

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

An anarchist angel wearing his halo as a hoop earring,

"Hey you!. . . Get off of my cloud!"

Bob landed in Hell. And to make matters worse, they lost his luggage.

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

"Don't you hate that? Now I think of the perfect last words!"

"Soul patch. What do you think?"

'I didn't know Heaven had another entrance?'

"Murchison is still in denial."

'I led a long and happy life. Twenty business cycles.'

Mourning break.

The late Cretaceous period.

'Yeah, I tried that once.'

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

'You'll need a username and password to enter...'

"Here's your wings and Stratocaster. . ."

'You must be new here. Most of us just hang around in our bathrobes'

"Well, well, well... We meet again at last!"