Hairstyle Renegade Pillows

'You are the first and the last of the Mohicans ... out!'

Haircuts

Queen of Upcycling!

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"We have a very special relationship with our barber."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

Music Freak.

The Bland Leading the Bland

A man without a chicken on his head!

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

Female Dominance.

"Would you look at that! Timmy was overwhelmed at the thought of his first shearing, but now, he can't stop talking to his friends about it. . ."

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"Do my hair like Boris Johnson."

"Where do you keep the non-educational stuff?"

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"

"Why always a book report? Why not ever a TV show report?"

Complaints (just kidding).

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

Lawyers Playing Tennis

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

It says 'item is returnable if repackaged exactly as sent.'"

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."

TV tie-in book signpost.

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'