Retail Renegade Pillows

'Four of these have to go.'

'It's not my job to argue with you, sir. So, I'm turning you over to Mrs Yomp.'

Man glued to a shop window under a huge 'Closing down sale' poster

He knew it. She was cheating on him again. Buying brand-name products and putting them in bulk containers. You know, just to appear thrifty.

Bulk fashion.

"Mr McNab gives primal scream therapy for shoplifters."

'Another 10 slice toaster? Great. And what happens if you don't make any friends?'

Complaints (just kidding).

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"Could you at least leave the store before you buy that on Amazon?"

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

Queen of Upcycling!

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

A holiday at home

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

Pirates at the mall.

Today, a special retro segment of The Fad Herald. It's the Fad Herald. Off the hook! Hey jive turkeys, here's what's not cool: Fossil fuels, dependence on Mideast oil, long gas lines. Here's what's groovy: Solar power, alternative fuels, energy independence. Can you dig? The world is changing, baby! Instead of solar panels, I'm buying a sweet 8-track player. Next week, a look ahead to 2040. What's out: Waiting in long lines to fill up the spacecraft with gas.

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"I'll never understand wallpaper."

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"Give him his food."

"Without mentioning any names, certain questionable liberties have been taken with our dress code."

"I can't have anything that's a food."

Organized chaos.

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

The Bland Leading the Bland

A man without a chicken on his head!

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"