Runway Renegade Pillows

Model Village

'and you're sure this will stop the underweight models getting on the catwalk?' - Cattlegrid on catwalk

'The Temptation of Antonio, Fashion Designer.'

The Bland Leading the Bland

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

Queen of Upcycling!

Tractor Racing

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

Ready for a run!

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

Music Freak.

A man without a chicken on his head!

"The judges aren't too impressed!"

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

Female Dominance.

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

'Well excuse me Mr. watch me pound on a hollow log!! I just thought our sound could use a change!!'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

Solar Storm Expected!

'I play it to kill time.'

Complaints (just kidding).

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

Learn-to-dance pants.

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

It's 10pm. Same time it was last night at this time.

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"