Robe Renegade Pillows

Rock Climber

Queen of Upcycling!

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

Ready for a run!

The Bland Leading the Bland

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

Music Freak.

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

A man without a chicken on his head!

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

Female Dominance.

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

Hot pink (and purple) monkey love!

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

Complaints (just kidding).

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"Mr McNab gives primal scream therapy for shoplifters."

Model Village

"It starts out with a standard romantic plot: Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, wins her back, Girl kills Boy, devours his head and lays eggs in his carcass. Ok, now here's the twist..."

'Do I look as though I want to play Monopoly?'

It's 10pm. Same time it was last night at this time.