Hairline Worrier Gifts

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

A Hole in the Dike

I.T. Fear

"Please don't kill me."

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

Separation Anxiety

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

Tomorrow's our first eco club meeting. Yeah, I'm nervous! There are so many big issues!

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"The cause of your illness is the approaching winter."

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

I called Laurel an hour ago and she hasn't called me back. Do you think she still likes me?! Ahh! Now it's an hour and one minute! Love is a beautiful thing.

Energy Bills

'Mrs Fenton, next time we have a neurotic snowman booked, get the payment up-front!'

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

"Sidney gets nervous if he's too far from his money."

"I can't believe school starts next week. The first math exam is gonna be a killer! Then in six weeks, report cards! I'll probably be grounded!"

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

'I'm worried, the software that can replace me is becoming more affordable.'

'Termites devour my house, the kids devour the hair off my head and taxes devour all my profits... I'm at the bottom of the food chain'!

"This was supposed to be the last session, but I think that I need to come abother couple of times to treat this sense of guilt for all the money I have wasted on you."

'Just taking precautions in case the plumber doesn't come before the house sinks!'

We know your e-mail address!

Full Harvest Moon

"Well, we've done it, Sandy . . . we hit the 'cold snap tri-fecta:'. . ."

'I'm not concerned that coffee might keep me awake all night. I have credit problems that do that for me.'