Hairline Hero Gifts

'Termites devour my house, the kids devour the hair off my head and taxes devour all my profits... I'm at the bottom of the food chain'!

Haircuts

Shampoo.

My Bangs: A Play in 5 Acts

Freedom of the press

"Of course, it's MY hair - I've still got the receipt!"

'I didn't read that scene, but I did highlight several passages.'

"Will I lose my hare?"

"Wait, mister Samson. The manager said he'll give you a full refund and a year's worth of free stylings."

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

"I'll have my article pulled together in no time."

Cowboy Snowman: 'DRAW!' Two Cowboy Snowmen about to fight it out using their hot air Hairdryers

So it's a short back and sides, but leave the horns!

'How is this for a headline: Climate change denial blogs cause further global warming.'

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

'I'm all the athletic support my son will ever need!'

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

An expletive of editors

"Just even it out."

"Number two all over but leave it shaggy on top"

A man with a look alike lion's mane hair style.

'Daddy! Are you using the number forty clipper?'

"Highlighting your Bible doesn't make you more spiritual than anyone else."

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

Barbershop customer's reflection mocks his haircut.

The Marcel Wave

Real men have facial hair.

Daily News. Headline Writing Dept. How about this story, Ernie? ... Blonde twins parachuted nude to win a bet! Fair pair use air scare for bare dare!

"Look, I just need a cool haircut."

"We're running late. Just pick a facial expression already."

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."

The Fashion for Elaborate Hairstyles

"Well which do you think is more likely, your pillow is growing hair or you're losing yours?"

Rapunzel on prom night.

Newspaper Co. Sports Desk. Ernie, we need headlines for our series of articles on sports stars trying to revive their careers. Let's start with the Australian athlete. "Boomerang Thrower's Comeback." A basketball player bulked up to become competitive again. "Hoopster Muscles Way to Rebound"! The tennis star overcame a serious illness and is back on the court. "Tennis Champ Rallies: Makes Exciting Return"! The skier, on the other hand, had to retire. He's a politician in a dirty electi