Hades Humorist Gifts

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"I said slime."

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"That's the preacher's dog."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Shaved Ice

Pirates at the mall.

'It was this big. I swear'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

Guide fish.

'Smith, where exactly did you get your experience in 'Hedge Fund Management'?'

'Sheep striptease'.

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

Shark Chum

'See? Tantor like Jane -- he want Jane give belly rub!'

Titanic iceberg auction

Factory Recall Unicorn.

Snowman Tattoo

"Hallelujah!"

"You said a moment ago that everybody you look at seems to be a rabbit. Now just what do you mean by that, Mrs. Sprague?"

Fish Farm.

'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'

'It's a doughnut - just eat it!'

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

'Wow...you must have had a really bad day, eh, mate?'

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"