Habitual Typer Gifts

'You should learn how to type! When you ordered 10 pizzas, you accidently added four zeros. A semi truck should arrive any time now.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

Progression of human writing, from chisled stone to computers until 2000 when the computer has blown up

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

"What's the difference between being addicted to painkillers and just really, really liking them a lot?"

'I thought about leaving once, but I couldn't quit the habit.'

Snail Writer

Donald Trump Crossword Silhouette

"Honey, I'll be right back – I forgot to stop at the bar on the way home."

"You must cut down on your smoking."

'Have you considered your x-height?'

'See that letter from Jones and Company? Nicely typed.' - 'Good grammar too.'

'And that's Mr. Clarke - bottle of Pinot Grigio, every Friday, 4:45 p.m.'

Are we a bunch of losers? Who are you talking about? Me, Randy, Sadie, even you Uncle Mort – all of us cafe regulars. We've been hanging out at this place for years. I've been working here two decades. Do we have nowhere else to go? More powerful even than inertia: Any momentum killed by an uncompromising nap regimen. Zzzz.

I confess, I'm one of the bloggers that's hurting the journalism business. You? I blog stories about my local community. You have journalistic training? Of course. I've spent years watching Shepard Smith and Montel Williams. The visitor wept with respect. Shoot me.

'Sorry about some of the punctuation -- I haven't learned the top row of the keyboard yet.'

'Well, have you ever watched anybody type?'

Eating Alone

"Can we please sign off just one night without the national anthem?"

I can type 500 words per minute.

'So, this is what you do in your secret room...'

Smoking away money.

'Todd, that was the fourth girl named Rachael you broke up with. Stop this Rachael profiling.'

'What do you mean, there's no cigarette break??!'

"I got you a training keyboard to learn on."

'I don't like changing my habits. That's why I'll have what I already know I don't like.'

'Goodbye darling have a great day at the office, but you do realise you retired yesterday,'

'You know I'm not going to be able to concentrate if you're going to grind your teeth all night.'

"He used to fix roads, now he fixes computers. I guess old habits are hard to break."

'Sister Margaret? -- when did YOU quit the habit?'