Gynecologist Gifts

Maternity Doors

Try to stay off your feet until after the baby's born.

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

'I'm sorry to inform you, Mrs. Cottontail, you're out of eggs.'

'Obstetrics and gynaecology' arrow 'Down there'

"So you're having trouble conceiving. Have you tried sex?"

'Doctor Smith - At your cervix.'

'Life was moving along at a nice, steady pace, then I hit middle age and my life hot-flashed before my eyes!'

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

'False alarm. You're not having a baby. You're having a birthday.'

"And if you'll just bare with me Mrs Jackson, I'll write you out a prescription for your PMT"

'Doctor, how long will it be before the stork arrives?'

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

'May I ask you a personal question?'

Premature birth warning

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

"We want you to induce labor!"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Pandora's Gynecologist.

'Actually, I got into gynecology because it's a great way to meet girls!'

Gynecology pigeon hole

'I encourage natural childbirth - gently coaxing the baby into the world. If that fails, I go with brute force and intimidation.'

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

Flo's kids had a harder time adjusting to their mother's hot flashes than she did.

'Come into the examination room. I want to practice.'

How to know when your gynecologist is watching too much baseball.

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

'He called the game obstetrical roulette. It's played with five birth control pills and an aspirin.'

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Could I examine your cervix?'

"So far mum's put on 10 kilos. I guess that's the best passenger safety airbag I'll ever get."

'Normally I'd be strongly opposed to a womanh your age electing a permanent birth control option...but in your case-'

'I'm sorry to hear about your women troubles, but I'm a gynecologist. I only help women with women's troubles.'

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'Well, Mrs.Gurkemiller...Either your female cycle has turned to European summer time, or you're pregnant.'