Genitourinary Surgeon Gifts

"Sorry Doc, now is not a good time: I've just finished marking my territory..."

"We've made great progress!"

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"First time pruning?"

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

PSA Banter.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Haute Suture

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Young Dr. Dolittle.