Gynecology Specialist Gifts

Dr. Bill Jones At Your Cervix

"We've made great progress!"

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

Desert Dermatologist

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

How I met your mother

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Uterus: One size fits all.

Medical Examinations.

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"