Gynaecologist Gifts

Obstetrics.

"So this is the secret to the start of labour!"

Gynaecologist standing under a patient (like a mechanic).

A cow gynaecologist.

"Doctor, should I have a baby after 38?"

CCTV? Good grief, what do they think I'm going to vandalise in here??

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

"These new coats are a Godsend."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"Ah, Mrs Henshaw, I'm glad you rang me about your ticking sound, as it explains the mystery about my missing watch."

Xmas knees up!

Medical exam

"Your baby should be arriving on this date. I just emailed you the tracking number."

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"I don't want to appear ungrateful but just once I'd like to eat out!"

"The long range forecast is a bit repetitive in here......warm and cosy, warm and cosy and warm and cosy!"

"Aside from being female the opportunities for promotion are pretty limited in here!"

A maternity ward throughout the year and at Christmas.

"Is there anything I should avoid after childbirth?"

"One trip down the birth canal??..I had bigger travel plans than that!!"

Easy birth ATM

Uterus: One size fits all.

Caution: False Contractions Ahead

Gynaecologist.

Doctor in the gynaecology department putting his hands in Liquid Nitrogen.

Help keep this a tidy uterus: Please dispose of afterbirth thoughtfully.

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

You are HERE

"Vous avez pris rendez-vous?"

"We've made great progress!"

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.