Urological Surgeon Gifts

We Urologists have our own Peter Principle: Your condition rises to its level of incontinence.

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

The Map of the human brain

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Ice Cream Surgeon

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

The tooth fairy.

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

PSA Banter.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

Haute Suture

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Surgery up here is free!"

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"