Urological Surgeon Gifts

We Urologists have our own Peter Principle: Your condition rises to its level of incontinence.

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

The Map of the human brain

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

The tooth fairy.

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

PSA Banter.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

Haute Suture

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'But they told me to take her down to theatre...'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Young Dr. Dolittle.

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

"Surgery up here is free!"

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.