Gender Guru Gifts

Department of Gender Studies

". . . and you are from earth?"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Here and There Trays

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'She's so put together!'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

A women in a shoeshop.

'You know too much!'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"