Gender Guru T-Shirts

Department of Gender Studies

". . . and you are from earth?"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Here and There Trays

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'She's so put together!'

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

'You know too much!'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

A women in a shoeshop.

Relationship Warning Lights

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'