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"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

The adoration of the gels.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"Too much concealer?"

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

"You're solemates!"

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

Santa called but you were out!

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

Words of Love

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

Curling your hair for no reason

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

I'm putting all my eggs in one basket.

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

Woman applying makeup

The Love Psychologists