Girl Talk Guru Gifts

"I know what you mean...Harold's gotten so fat he has to use suspenders to hold up his boxers!"

"Gaby broke up with her BFF? That's awful."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

Create some buzz!

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'She's so put together!'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

A women in a shoeshop.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Keeping warm.

"Absolutely not!"

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Mr Metrosexual.

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'Do you like my little black number?'

Men gossiping

At the suit makers

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."