Girltalk Guru Gifts

"Sometimes I really hate my ex-husband!"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Create some buzz!

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Annual run-off at the mouth.

'Yak, yak, yak.'

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Men gossiping

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"If you have any gossip, tell me now - she could come back ay second."

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

The Thinker. The Listener

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Water cooler talk stations."

'My market doesn't understand me.'

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

Wine Talking

Celebrity Gavin Henson

"I only told a few friends."

"I can't believe you made it past our bitch receptionist."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

There's a real disconnect going on here.