Gym Skimper Gifts

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

Bench Press Accident

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

Exercise now!

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

Keep Fit.

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Yoga for beginners,

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'