Gym Skimper T-Shirts

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Bench Press Accident

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"OK, ready to go again?"

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Exercise now!

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

No caption. (A mother runs on a treadmill with a baby carriage on the treadmill next to her).

That's not what I meant when I suggested you get an exercise machine.

Keep Fit.

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

How to go form fit to fat...

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

Yoga for beginners,