Gym Skiver Gifts

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Bench Press Accident

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Exercise now!

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

Ski lift mobile

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

No caption. (A mother runs on a treadmill with a baby carriage on the treadmill next to her).

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"Can I still do my pilates?"

That's not what I meant when I suggested you get an exercise machine.

Keep Fit.

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.