Skiver's Club Member Gifts

'I need a sick note to cover me for the London Olympics.'

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

Niche Extracurriculars

'If you don't have schools on your planet we'd like to go with you!'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

"Welcome to Truancy Prevention 101."

Pole Vaulting Club

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

The invention of baseball.

'As President of the Annoying Saying Society, just let me say,,,,,enjoy,'

Man at sports arena sees plane pulling banner that tells him to get back to work.

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

"I can't go to school today, Mom . . . I'm running a low-grade spring fever."

'There's someone in your teeth Harold.'

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

"Frankly, Ms. Brandt, I'm content to leave addition to the experts."

My gran's on facebook!

Vlad The Impaler's Descendants,

"Rule one of Fart Club is everyone follows through in this Fart Club."

'I tried faking a fever by putting a hot cloth on my forehead. My plan was foiled when my mom checked my pop-up thermometer.'

This club is for members only

"I'm sure you've been reading about the enormous emotional pressures we teenagers are under today, so I know you'll understand when I say I've just been too stressed out to write my history paper."

'What cloak of invisibility? Just admit that you missed work yesterday.'

"I guess I'll need to stay home from school 'til the bandages come off."

"I've used up all my sick days so I'm calling in dead."

"The teacher says you tried to fake a furball cough to get out of doing the Maths test!"

The Stand-about society.

Man on really old computer - SEARCH 'a new computer'

"It says skip ad in 10 seconds, what do you want to do till then?"

Girl Guided Missile

'We play in the cat protection league.'