Skiver's Club Member Pillows

'I need a sick note to cover me for the London Olympics.'

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

Niche Extracurriculars

'If you don't have schools on your planet we'd like to go with you!'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

"Welcome to Truancy Prevention 101."

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

Pole Vaulting Club

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

The invention of baseball.

'As President of the Annoying Saying Society, just let me say,,,,,enjoy,'

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

Man at sports arena sees plane pulling banner that tells him to get back to work.

"I can't go to school today, Mom . . . I'm running a low-grade spring fever."

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

'There's someone in your teeth Harold.'

"Frankly, Ms. Brandt, I'm content to leave addition to the experts."

Vlad The Impaler's Descendants,

This club is for members only

"Rule one of Fart Club is everyone follows through in this Fart Club."

'I tried faking a fever by putting a hot cloth on my forehead. My plan was foiled when my mom checked my pop-up thermometer.'

"I'm sure you've been reading about the enormous emotional pressures we teenagers are under today, so I know you'll understand when I say I've just been too stressed out to write my history paper."

Man on really old computer - SEARCH 'a new computer'

The Stand-about society.

"The teacher says you tried to fake a furball cough to get out of doing the Maths test!"

"I've used up all my sick days so I'm calling in dead."

Girl Guided Missile

'We play in the cat protection league.'

"It says skip ad in 10 seconds, what do you want to do till then?"

"I guess I'll need to stay home from school 'til the bandages come off."

'What cloak of invisibility? Just admit that you missed work yesterday.'

'Being destitute does have its advantage -- taking inventory is a breeze.'