Ad Skippers Club Pillows

"It says skip ad in 10 seconds, what do you want to do till then?"

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"I've got those 'Don't worry about me, I'll just be here, all alone' blues."

'Just in case there is an accident.'

Clubbing

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

'I spent my summer vacation NOT doing boring writing assignments.'

"And now a word from our sponsors...ratings."

'It began as The Great American Novel...but it finally sold as an infomercial.'

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

"We're ready to give the verdict....after the commercial break."

Two man congratulating a 'Jazz club' "Real Cool" and "Real Hot"

'I prefer Brand X myself.'

Bouncer.

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

'I heard you got a job at that new club. It must be great."

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."

Marv's Preowned Vehicles...That new car smell can kill you! - Buy Used!

Beer goggles, whiskey binoculars and absinthe telescope.

'The nightlife around here? Pretty boring if you ask me Dude: My parents are awake...'

'Qool - when the thirst come first.'

"I'm leaving Friday and we are all going to the club after work. Will you come?"

COUNCIL OF ECONOMIC ADVISORS, 'Have we tried product placement?'

It's the perfect advertising image of marital bliss. All we need is the disclaimer 'PROFESSIONAL ACTORS - DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.'

"I even had commercials in my dream last night."

The Barbarian At the Villiage Gate

'I can't identify with any brand emotionally!'

Pole Dancing Every Night: 'It's one of the perks of being a weights and measures inspector.'

'Good grief!! You're here already..?!'